Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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