im drinking this country out of the recession.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
the liver wants what the liver wants
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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