You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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