I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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