All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
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