I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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