Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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