Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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