Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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