What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
