I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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