Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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