before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
