Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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