it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
