I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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