i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
