ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
