k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
