I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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