We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
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She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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