Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
