Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
