For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
bring money and cleavage
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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