Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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