There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
