We won't sleep together?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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