Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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