You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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