I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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