oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
