another moral hangover. fuck.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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