An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
