didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize