There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
