You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
