I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
