Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
