I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
