Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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