What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We talked him into tasing himself.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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