I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize