i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
