Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
