Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
