I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
