Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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