This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
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