we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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