At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
vagina is talking i cant
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
