I like to think it a success when the cops are called
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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