She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
