I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
