Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
