I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
