Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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