the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
you had me at cake vodka
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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