I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
